Wednesday, March 28, 2007

DEADLINES FOR OTHER WARS

Now that Congress has established an expiration date for the War in Iraq, let's hope they take a look at some other wars that need to be brought to a conclusion.

1. THE WAR ON DRUGS: Doesn't take a genius to figure this one out (good thing, since these are politicians we are discussing).

The War on Drugs could be considered to have started in 1880, when the U.S. and China completed an agreement (called the Opium Wars) that prohibited the shipment of opium between the two countries. Nixon's modern-day War on Drugs began in 1968.

The U.S. federal government spent over $19 billion dollars in 2003 on the War on Drugs - a rate of about $600 per second. The budget has since been increased by over a billion dollars. Since December 31, 1995, the U.S. prison population has grown an average of 43,266 inmates per year. About 25 per cent are sentenced for drug law violations. Quite a success! Declare victory and end it now!

2. THE WAR ON POVERTY: In his first State of the Union speech, President Lyndon B. Johnson declared a "War On Poverty." Making poverty a national concern set in motion a series of bills and acts, creating programs such as Head Start, food stamps, work study, Medicare and Medicaid, which still exist today. The programs initiated under Johnson brought about results, reducing rates of poverty and improved living standards for America's poor; however, the programs have outlived their usefulness and too many people are actively fighting to keep them in place even though most of the programs that are outdated and make as much sense as Rosie O'Donnell in a Playboy centerfold.

The poverty rate has remained steady since the 1970s so let's face it: the majority of people who live in poverty in the United States in 2007 are there as a result of their choices in life. The easiest ways to stay out of poverty are:
  • Stay in school
  • learn a job skill
  • learn a trade
  • don't have kids BEFORE you can support yourself AND your kid
  • don't get addicted to cigarettes or other financially draining habits
  • work smart and hard; forty hour work weeks are for people who do NOT want to succeed

The so-called Great Society is upon us. Declare victory!

Thursday, March 15, 2007

SIX REASONS PETE ROSE SHOULD BE IN THE BASEBALL HALL OF FAME

Pete Rose NOW says he DID bet on his baseball team – but he always bet that they would win! Hmmmm . . . And O.J. didn’t kill his wife.

However, I still think Rose should be in the Baseball Hall of Fame because he was one of the best ever. Ty Cobb is in the Hall because he was an incredible player – the fact that he was a racist pig and a lousy human being does not matter. It’s called the Baseball Hall of Fame, not the Most Righteous Persons Hall of Fame.

Here are 6 reasons why Pete Rose should be in the Hall of Fame.

  1. Patty Smith is in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.
  2. Yasser Arafat, International terrorist, won the Nobel Peace Prize in 1994.
  3. Al Gore won a Best Documentary Oscar for An Inconvenient Truth.
  4. Starland Vocal Band won a Grammy for “Best New Artist” in 1976. Also nominated that year: Boston.
  5. Al Sharpton ran for president of the United States.
  6. John Travolta had a # 1 song with “You’re The One That Want” from the Grease soundtrack – but Credence Clearwater Revival has NEVER had a #1 song.

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Charleston, SC (Roto-Reuters News Service) The announcement last week that 5000 of the South Carolina school buses are more than 14 years old, many with more than 400,000 miles, has provoked Charleston City Council into a momentous decision. Starting next week, the contract for running the school bus system in Charleston County will be taken over by CARTA.

CARTA spokeshuman, Pat, stated: “The first thing we will do is revamp the schedule. The school buses will run continually from 8:00 a.m. to 8:00 p.m. It’s a waste to have all these buses sitting idle during the day time.”

When this reporter informed the spokeshuman that most school children need to be in school before 8:00 a.m. the reply was: ‘They’ll just have to adjust their schedules.”

This reporter also pointed out that during the middle of the day the children would be in school and there was no need to have buses running at that time. CARTA replied, “But what about the kids who want to cut class but have no transportation? We need to serve the needs of ALL the children.”

When it was pointed out that most school sessions were over by 4:00p.m. CARTA was asked how did they justify running the buses until 8:00 p.m. Pat said, “Haven’t you ever heard of night school?”

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

BEN & JERRY'S 69 CHARLESTON FLAVORS

Need some help from you guys out there. You may (or may not) know that the structure on Market Street that is the home of Ben & Jerry's was once a house of prostitution. I am in the process of creating a list of 69 ice cream flavors that could be sold in the Market Street store.

If you will go to Wicked Charleston.net and click the tool bar that reads "69 Flavors" you can read the 36 flavors I have already listed. Only 33 more to go!

WARNING!! For those who do not want to read ice cream flavors such as "Rum Cum" and worse . . . . ignore this request.

Sunday, March 11, 2007

BEST ATTRACTION - AQUARIUM . . . GOT TO BE KIDDING, RIGHT?

Knowing the City Paper's fondness for ironic humor, let's hope the naming of the Aquarium was one of those attempts.

http://www.charlestoncitypaper.com/gyrobase/Content?oid=oid%3A24047

As a licensed city of Charleston tour guide I drive carriages and conduct daytime history walking tours as well as nighttime ghost and prostitution tours. During my six years as a guide I have averaged giving tours to 5000 people a year and I have NEVER had a single person tell me they came to Charleston to "visit the Aquarium". After all, Myrtle Beach and Atlanta have better aquariums, but lousy food and no charm.

Calling the South Carolina Aquarium the "Best Attraction" is like calling Ringo the most important Beatle, Dr. Watson the better detective or Neil Simon the 20th century Shakespeare.

Monday, March 05, 2007

THE DUMB BLONDE SHILL

Ann Coulter’s at it again, I see. In her attempt to become the 21st Century H.L. Menken she forgot one thing: intelligence. As her celebrity has grown from being famous to infamous, she has been reduced to a dumb blonde shill saying outrageous things just to be noticed. Kinda like Brittany Spears etc . . . Her John Edwards ‘faggot’ remark was for shock value, and to tweak the Left who have no sense of humor and painfully thin skin.

And it worked perfectly. Within minutes, Howard Dean was screaming that every Republican should distance themselves from her “hateful speech”. And everybody did, including Republicans.

However . . .

Another dumb blonde shill made another remark which Howard Dean (and the rest of the leftand media) seem to approve. Bill Maher, who for some reason is referred to as a comedian, stated that he wished the assassination attempt on vice-president Dick Cheney had been successful. Maher said with Cheney dead this would be “a better world.”

One dumb blonde calls someone a faggot and the media turns it into a national panic. Another one calls for the murder of the sitting vice-president and the media yawns. Which is the more egregious?

I am not confident of a future where calling for the assassination of an elected official is less shocking than calling someone a bad name. But what do expect from a media which is no longer interested in truth.

Quiz: Who said the following? And when?

“There are no objective facts. Every report on facts is only somebody’s opinion.
It is, therefore, useless to write about facts.”

Answer: Ayn Rand in her 1957 book Atlas Shrugged. Talk about predicting the future of the media . . .

Pay attention to what goes on around you folks.